Waiting

The waiting part... isn't that sometimes the hardest part of life? I mean sometimes patience is so hard. Like when I'm starving and Jesse and I were waiting for a table last week at Olive Garden. All I wanted to do was go up to a stranger's table and ask them to spare a bread stick. I would pay them back in about 15 minutes with a new one, c'mon. We wait during pregnancy for lots of things, waiting for those first treacherous 15 weeks to be over so that we can stop puking and get on with eating normally. We wait for the first 20 weeks to go to the ultrasound and hopefully find out the sex of the baby, and then it's the last home stretch that's really the hardest.. waiting for the labor to begin, waiting to meet this new little person. Sometimes waiting is so hard. I think it's hard because the minutes feel like hours when your mind is so preoccupied by one single thought.

Yesterday was like that.
I was waiting at the doctor's office to talk to a specialist about my kidneys. As I look around all I see is very old, overweight people in the waiting room. I feel out of place, and then I see a 15 year old boy, ahhh there's hope, but then I see his Mom trailing behind him with worry written all over her face. Ugggh The news from the Dr. is no news at all, just more tests and some reassurance from him that it's a good thing I made an appointment. More waiting... 3 weeks of it in fact. Help me God, not to be so preoccupied with this one single thought that I miss out on life. 3 weeks is a lot of life and I don't want to miss it. I do think there's some internal work I need to do because it does not do a person good to just shove it.
As John Eldredge says in Walking With God, "Life will present us with hundreds of opportunities in a single week to take a look at our internal world, to walk with God there, to become more fully his. Don't let your internal life go unshepherded."
So I guess my prayer for today is for balance. To walk with God in this waiting room period of sorts and to live life.